A word on advise

I have no idea what she is trying to do here...

 As a first time mum I suppose it is quite natural that I am clueless about quite a few things, but there is always someone around to provide help and guidance. While any sort of advise from someone with at least a little bit more experience is much appreciated, it can also be a bit too much sometimes. It actually already starts during pregnancy with people offering their opinions (and warnings) about what to do or not to do. But let's not go there.

The best and worse of advisers are usually the grandparents of the baby. Our own parents seem to feel that any advise they give us should be meticulously adhered to. They probably think that they cannot be wrong, because, as they like to point out "you turned out okay, didn't you?"

People will give you advise on everything: how to dress, hold or carry the baby, when to feed, what to feed (especially when it comes to the introduction of solids), the list is endless. Some people might feel very strongly about something and they can get a bit too passionate trying to share their knowledge. It all gets even more confusing when people are giving conflicting advise.

Recently I have gotten a fair share of advise on the topic of starting solids. I chose to breastfeed our daughter exclusively for the first six months, something that seems incomprehensible by most people. I had my reasons for this choice, but I will not go into that now. The problem is that some people made me feel like I am depriving our daughter of something by delaying solids. The ideas that the baby must be given certain foods at a certain age, so that she gets enough energy, gets to taste yummy foods etc.

At approximately 6,5 months I feel that our daughter has had plenty of exposure to different foods, but how much she is eating is a whole different story. I hope I'll be able to tell you a bit more in detail about starting solids in another post, I have just used it as an example and I hope I haven't gotten too far off my original topic :)

My advise to the people giving advise (haha): share your experiences and what you know, but keep in mind that all babies and children are different, one solution might not work for everyone. Also all parents are different and there are sometimes different ways to get to the same goal. New research is being done all the time, hence what was the norm ten, fifteen or thirty years ago might not apply at all today.

My advise to those parents who get their fair share of other people's opinions, hints and tips: pick and choose. I believe that the baby's parents know the child the best, regardless of how inexperienced they may be, and sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling. Some of the advise you get will be priceless, other things might not feel right and then it's probably best to pass on that.

I am fortunate to have lots of friends and family around me that are very helpful and supportive, all of them in their different ways. I do like to point out that this post is in no way meant to criticize anyone. I am grateful for all the advise (past, present and future), but at the same time I hope that people will understand that sometimes I might opt to go a different way, my own way.